Archive for the ‘insects’ category

Advantage II for Cats Huge Flea Commercial…

July 25, 2017

Fleas the size of humans are the stuff of nightmares, especially if you happen to find them watching a movie with you, or (shudder) squirreled away all cozy in your bed… 

The giant fleas in the Advantage II for Cats commercial are both repulsive and oddly fascinating; it’s hard to look at them or away from them, perhaps because they’ve acclimated to human life so well.  They seem like world-weary couch potatoes, not really trying to make a fuss but just fit in.  And so it is when the woman vacuuming approaches the giant flea encamped on her couch, the insect very accommodatingly lifts a hind leg to allow her work to continue.  The flea fits in all too well, and is possibly less offensive than other house guests.  

If your cat has fleas, you probably do also” is the commercial’s disturbing message.  Perhaps in a sequel, we’ll hear the pitter-patter of not-so-little flea legs around the house, or see the one on the couch pick up the phone to order a pizza…

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Termites Are Monsters!

June 13, 2013

termites– – A new Terminix campaign visually supersizes termites and other household pests, making them visually repellent and a disgusting joy to watch.  Rather than the small and largely unseen insects that termites actually are, these are giant, horrific hell-beasts that look fully capable of eating your house and probably anyone inside it as well.  They are delivered to viewers complete with eerie horror-movie sounds and sinister voiceovers; Syfy original movie monsters should be half this good!  One almost expects to see Ellen Ripley and a squadron of space marines appear to dispatch these loathsome and dangerous beasties, getting slaughtered in the process…the termites even have circular buzz-saw type jaws within jaws!

 

…fearmongering sells, ‘ya see, as the political world has long since discovered!

Getting Bugged…

November 19, 2012

– – Don’t the bugs seem to get bigger each year?  And there’s something marvelously surreal about going along in a big RV with a human-sized blue bug riding shotgun up front!  I could get into this scene…well, this is an ESPN RV marketing campaign commercial that features New Orleans rookie Anthony Davis traveling in the RV together with ESPN commentator Mike Breen and Hugo, the team mascot.  They are all very comfortable in one another’s company, a cozy group…thank heavens for cultural diversity!

The driving commentator is conversing with the big blue bug when, Thwack! – – A standard-size bug hits the windshield, leaving the predictable bug splat on it.  Thoughtfully, the commentator offers his condolences to the mascot, and then turns his attention to the problem of the bug smear.  The wipers are tried, which only smears the bug splat…then the washer fluid is resorted to, which makes the smear worse.  Needing to take care of business, the driver then advises the bug mascot that there are napkins in the glove compartment, and asks the big blue insect if he would reach out, and try and grab some of the big pieces of the bug remnants!  I think we’ve all been there, don’t you?

Cybernetic Roaches…

September 12, 2012

– – I, for one, would be freaked to find a remotely-controlled Madagascar hissing cockroach at large in my domicile.  One would wonder what kind of sinister intelligence would be behind it, and such a creation would represent an unnatural perversion of the already repugnant.

Scientists at the North Carolina State University have already created such a fun toy, however, by taking a lightweight chip with a wireless receiver and transmitter, and attaching it to a cockroach like a tiny backpack.  Madagascar hissing cockroaches are the roach of choice as they are large, heavy-duty, and already carry a significant gross-out factor.  With a microcontroller connected to the roach’s antennae and cerci (rear sensory organs), small electrical charges from the wires to the cerci trick the roach into moving in response to a perceived threat.  Charges sent to the antennae make the roach think that it’s bumped into something.  By utilizing both inputs, it’s possible to basically steer the cockroach.

Now what, you might ask, would you use a biobot roach for?  Well, they could be sent into tight spaces to search for survivors after disasters…but would you want to be found by such a rescue party?- -aieee!   Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, right?  Perhaps they might additionally tie small casks of brandy around the roach’s head…

Steerable roaches…that’s something new!  I think I want one for Xmas, too! 

Along Came A Spider…

August 10, 2012

– – If you are an arachnophobe, this tale is not for you!  It seems that a woman went to China’s Changsa Central Hospital complaining of itching in the left side of her face.–Well, it turned out that the source of her irritation was a spider which had been residing inside the woman’s ear canal for five days!  It had probably set up housekeeping.   The picture shows the actual spider before its removal…

Doctors used a saline solution to flush the spider out in order to avoid having it bite the woman, or burrow deeper into her ear!  Fortunately, the flushing technique was successful.  Speculation was that the spider crept into the woman’s ear as she slept,  brought in while her house was undergoing renovations.  Spiders can be quite the opportunists…

Spiders and insects are appearing in greater numbers this summer due to the warm weather and drought conditions across much of the United States.  As cold-blooded creatures, insects develop faster in heat conditions, producing more generations in a shorter time.   The Orkin folks and other exterminators ought to be able to get some memorable commercials out of this one!  And you thought the giant talking ants were creepy…

Waiter, There’s a Fly…

August 12, 2011

 – – People are forever finding flies and other repulsive foreign objects in their food, in some cases putting such objects in the food item themselves in the hopes of pursuing profitable litigation or at least getting a free meal.  I’ve found hair in restaurant food on numerous occasions.  Well, along these lines a woman in China recently bought some yogurt, ate half of it in the morning, and put the remainder in her refrigerator, returning that afternoon to consume the rest of it.  When the afternoon’s yogurt tasted funny, the woman spat it out to find…a dead fly!

 

We hope you weren’t eating, gentle readers.  Anyways, when the woman complained to the yogurt manufacturer, Bright Dairy & Food Co., company officials didn’t apologize or offer the customer a refund.  Rather, they asked her to autopsy the fly to make sure that it had gotten into the yogurt before she had opened it.  This rather put an end to the matter, as there aren’t many medical examiners offering fly autopsies.

Instances of food adulteration like this have given rise to use of the term mealbreaker to refer to a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten.   Examples might include the bloody bandage reportedly found baked into a pizza, and of course the overalls found in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder…


Magnificent Mentos Spider!

February 9, 2011

– – Short of Peter Parker, you aren’t going to find an arachnid as breathtaking as the Mentos Rainbow pack spider! The commercial introduces us to a young couple sitting in their living room when suddenly the female goes ballistic, shrieking and recoiling on their couch.  The view shifts to the carpet, where we are shown…a spider!- –What is it with chicks and spiders, anyhow?!

Anyways, the guy responds by dutifully going to deal with the spider, extending a finger, possibly to crush the inoffensive creature.  The extended digit is all our eight-legged hero needs, however, to demonstrate his profound mastery of Jujutsu or perhaps Aikido, grasping the human’s finger and throwing him like a rag doll across the room no less than three times! A shelving unit and coffee table are splintered in the fracas!  The wrath of the spider is awesome, and the human is hopelessly outclassed!

In the closing images, we see the grounded human’s body dragged forcefully across the floor presumably by the amazing arachnid as the announcer intones, “It’s better to know what’s coming next!” It’s not revealed what fate awaits the human female, but I doubt things will go well for her, either…

…Bravo, I say!  Long may this arachnid martial arts master live and prosper!