Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

Nigel the Wise Owl…

March 28, 2017

 

Owls have long held our respect and are associated with wisdom, and they are increasingly being used as advertising icons.  Their presence in the Harry Potter movies further spiked their popularity to the extent that some misguided people sought them as pets…bad idea, at least for most people!  

Recently used memorably to sell eyewear for one company, owls have now entered the rather competitive allergy medication OTC market.  Enter then Nigel the Xyzal Wise Owl, pictured above.  This feathered guy has class; in one spot, he’s shown in a library with books, wearing a natty jacket, a monocle, and speaking with a British accent! Clearly, this guy is no flyweight, and knows his stuff; he appears to have the right credentials.

With many allergy medications having transitioned from prescription to over-the-counter status, recruiting a feathered sage with the voice of authority like Nigel might help carve out a niche for another product…

Deer Motorists…

February 2, 2017

 

img_0307
It’s an all-too-familiar scenario; out driving late at night, when suddenly deer appear on the road, blundering into the way with negative consequences to both the deer and the vehicle.  Since turnabout is fair play, we are shown a reverse case safety promo where two deer are motoring when a clueless human walks onto the road, totally absorbed in his texting.  The deer are forced to brake sharply, and honk their horn.  The clueless human looks up from his texting, startled, and hastens to finish his transit across the road.  The deer couple look at one another, and shake their heads.  A moment later, a trio of texting humans perform the same stunt before the now-stopped vehicle. They often travel in groups, you know…

“Don’t text while on the road,” the public service announcer then intones.  “It’s bad for deer, and for humans”.  Some humans are every bit as self-absorbed, location inappropriate, and clueless as those portrayed, too…

Lactaid “Balloons” Commercial…

December 10, 2016

She’s baaack, and becoming a bit crude…the Lactaid “Annoying Milk” cow, that is!  Sitting in a respectable-looking kitchen with a woman, the Lactose Cow makes inquiry about how that lady’s cafe au lait is, and then sits there with inflated balloons (first red, then yellow) making flatulent noises.  After the first balloon is deflated, the Cow appears contrite, asks seriously how the woman’s coffee is, then produces another balloon, continues her show, and laughs maniacally! I guess we’ve got to expect this kind of thing, what with the Trump presidency looming and all…

but not to worry!  The very proper and demure Lactaid Cow appears, propels her ill-mannered sister roughly to the side, and launches into a subdued conversation with the woman about how that milk was really messing with her.  You see, Lactaid is real milk that won’t mess with you.  For entertainment value, however, I continue to prefer the Annoying Milk cow, who wears red lipstick and appears slightly demented but very capable of doing a manic stand-up comedy routine… no use crying over a little spilled milk, right?


Geico’s “C’mon, Try It!” Raccoons…

November 20, 2016

Raccoons have kind of come into their own lately, and they’re a rather alluring and likable lot.  Rocket Raccoon in “Guardians of the Galaxy” was pretty awesome, and now Geico is treating us to a trio of articulate anthropomorphic ones who are dumpster diving at night.  

Whoa!  This is awful…try it!,” says one, encountering a repugnant morsel.

Oh no…that looks gross! – – What is it?,” responds a second.

You gotta try it.  It’s terrible!,” counters the first.

I don’t wanna try it if it’s terrible,” reasons the second.

It’s like mango, chutney, and burnt hair,” describes the first raccoon.

No thank you,” refuses the second.  “I have a very sensitive palate.”

Just try it!,” insists the first.

Guys, I think we should hurry up,” interjects the third raccoon.  A dog is heard barking…

“When you taste something bad, you want someone else to try it.  It’s what you do.”  Likewise when you want to save 15% or more on car insurance, going to Geico is what you do…

I can’t get this taste out of my mouth!,” complains the first raccoon.

Shhdog!,” warns his compatriot.  

(And when we last see the raccoon trio, they are ambling away across the pavement, repeating “Dog…dog…dog!)

They’ll never be food critics, but you gotta love these guys!

Kraft’s “Assume Nothing” Lobster Commercial

September 11, 2016

 

wp-1473608307743.jpeg

In a brief surreal commercial for Kraft Foods, we are introduced to Bill, who assumed that an event was a costume party, attending it in a full lobster suit. – – Don’t you hate it when that happens?!  Hapless Bill even inadvertently clouts a woman with a claw when he turns; wouldn’t that make for an interesting lawsuit?  Like Bill, I can relate to social embarrassments, being a fox out of the woodlands myself; the faux pas is my life.

Bill also assumed that his mayo was the best, when Kraft olive oil mayo delivers the taste with half the calories of the competition.  “Assume Nothing!,” we are counseled by the advertiser.  While these are words to live by, this is not to advocate unconditional buying into conspiracy theories despite the fact that it’s an election year…

Mooscles Jr. Applegate Commercial…

June 28, 2016

image

 

Cows seem to be going through an advertising renaissance lately.  There are the CGI cows of the Lactaid commercials, or if you prefer, the disturbing man-cows in minimal bovine fursuits who frequent the meat department of supermarkets in the Applegate “the cleaner weiner” ads.

Now I hope that they pay these guys well…I really do! The bodybuilder cow shuffles out and asks a female shopper if she’s “looking for quality meat.” Surprised, she looks up, beholds the manly cow, and gasps, “Ahh…I think I found it!”

Yeah, you did,” responds the cow with a grin, alternately flicking his pecs in confirmation. At this point, you begin to feel that you are watching some kind of exceedingly strange, naughty movie. It’s stuff like this that can give furries a bad name…

Wow…my family prefers our beef all-natural,” adds the woman shyly. “Yeah, mine too,” agrees the cow. “Right, son?,” he adds. At this point, the camera angle changes to show another equally beefy cow barely fitting into the seat of a shopping cart. “All natural,” he chimes in.

“They grow up so quickly!,” comments the first cow about his offspring, “Mooscles Jr.” All that remains is for the announcer at the end of the commercial to add, “Moo!” The advertising world has truly grown stranger than we can imagine…

Lactaid’s “Karate Cow” Commercial

June 8, 2016

She’s back, and she’s udderly wonderful…the Lactaid’s “mess with you” lactose cow for the lactose-intolerant, that is!  

Our scene begins with a couple eating ice cream in a dimly-lit living room.  From out of nowhere, we hear a martial arts cry. — Why, it’s the Lactose Cow ready to mess with the lactose-intolerant!  She strikes a pose, and then there is a flurry of flailing and karate-chopping hooves as she advances dramatically to the ice cream eaters on the couch.  “Right…in…your…STOMACH!,” the cow announces as the guy visibly recoils.  But alas, the cow is unable to resist a bit of showmanship.  “Watch this!,” she declares as she launches into a vaulting maneuver, at the exact second that the Lactaid Cow opens the French doors, sending the charged up bovine tumbling outside.  Once again, she was unable to mess with the lactose intolerant; pity!  

Now I think that this energetic cow might be the ideal running mate for Hillary Clinton.  She’d bring excitement and charisma to Hillary’s campaign, and could settle Donald Trump’s hash.  We’d have a furry a heartbeat away from the presidency…works for me!