Archive for the ‘creature features’ category

Mountain Monsters: Secrets of the Dark Forest

April 26, 2017


There’s a lot of repetition and drawing out of story lines in this bargain basement reality show, and if you were hoping to see “the Black Wolf” or “The Woman of the Woods” in this episode, you were likely to be disappointed…

Team researcher Jeff had been acting vaguely as if possessed recently, showing the others a video with a creepy voice recording, and relating how he had awoken in the Dark Forest alone with his clothes beside him.  The team in response followed GPS coordinates to the Dark Forest in Lee County, Virginia.  There they found Bigfoot signs such as broken branches, and ran across a reticent man they questioned who denied knowledge of anything but advised them not to go into the woods.  Of course they did (at night, no less), finding a deer head hung in the woods and perceiving something to run past them.  At that point, Jeff inexplicably got a nosebleed, and the evening’s festivities were called off.

Meanwhile, team members Willy and Wild Bill had been building a base camp shelter.  In the daytime, the team heard a high-pitched squeal, and pursuing it found what appeared to be wolf tracks by a river.  A tree-structure sign marker (pictured) was found near their camp, with Jeff later collapsing and being termed a security risk by team security member Huckleberry.  

Looking in the woods for additional marker-type signs, the team found sharpened branches and multiple trip lines.  Headlights were seen, causing the team to hunker down, at which point Jeff wigged out further, running off and leading them on a merry chase.  They found him in a trance-like state being pointed at by a small girl, who then conveniently ran off.  Jeff became combative when they tried to bring him around, but eventually came to himself.  Another strange noise was heard, and the team headed back to their base camp, finding someone sitting there who said that the noise they had heard was the Black Wolf.  The episode ended on this note, presumably with more to follow on the big bad wolf in the upcoming installment…

Carolina Reptile Man; Succubus; Napa Rebobs…

March 13, 2015



The Carolina Reptile Man is a cold-blooded reptilian beast recently profiled on Monsters and Mysteries in America that supposedly preys upon unsuspecting campers along the South Carolina coast.  Legends of the creature go back hundreds of years to Native American accounts of “men with tails” in the Smoky Mountains, with more recent sightings dating to 2008 and twenty years before that…

…in 1988, an African American youth was reportedly attacked in his car by the reptilian, which perched on his roof and clawed at his windows.  Later, a crop duster about to take off had the creature appear in his flight path.  In August of 1990, a 19-year-old man was camping, and had his sleep interrupted by a yellow-eyed reptilian.  He repeatedly cracked his bull whip at it, but the spry creature snatched the whip from him, and bit the end off!  Beating a hasty retreat to put distance between himself and the Reptile Man, the subject was later picked up by a Native American, who told the camper that he was lucky he had only run into one of them (dramatic pause with music)!

Now we turn to the girl of your nightmares; the Succubus!  Reported in incidents from South Boston, Virginia, the succubus is a demonic female entity, a literally hot date with fiery eyes and heat to her skin who tries to collect male souls, stealing first breath and then life. Legends of the succubus extend back to stories of Lillith in the biblical Old Testament.  It’s in the nature of the succubus to first appear in dreams, then gradually gain physicality; to banish them, you need to drive them off by faith. 

A former prison counselor was profiled who had extensive dealings with sexual offenders, becoming tainted by them and getting into a darker lifestyle.  A succubus descended upon him one night, paralyzing him in bed until he drove it off by force of will.  A former heavy metal rock musician in 1990’s Springfield, Missouri who led a life of sex, drugs, and rock & roll reported visitations from a succubus who assaulted him.  Alluring at first, the succubus became a powerful, grotesque hag.  Able to finally drive the demon off, the rocker was thereafter compelled to live a more upright life.

Finally on Partrick Road in Napa Valley, California tales of Rebobs, flying monkeys, have lured thrill seekers for sixty years, with multiple sightings having occurred in the 1960’s and 1970’s.  In one incident, campers on Partrick Road heard screaming like a female voice.  Falling asleep, a male in the group later awoke to find large scratch marks across his torso.  Leaving, they later returned in their car, at which time something jumped in front of their vehicle and climbed a tree.  The creature was said to be larger than a man, to be dark and furry with wings, and to emit a terrifying screech.  Called “Rebobs,” these monkeys gone terribly wrong were said to be the creations of a mad scientist who made mutant simian creatures that eventually got loose, and made the area their home. 

A 1997 case cited involved a couple who went in search of the rebobs, going up Partrick Road and struck with a chilling cold.  They eventually found a gothic-looking, abandoned house where they heard and saw a red-eyed creature.  It fixed them with a penetrating stare, and gave them a feeling of lasting fear…

Snickers “Godzilla” Commercial…

July 16, 2014



Godzilla, as we learn in a Snickers commercial, is an alright dude!  We are shown footage of the big guy in just slightly larger than human form, hanging at the beach, riding four wheelers, playing ping-pong, and making the scene at a party.- – What a party animal!

Godzilla’s actually pretty cool!,” comments one male party-goer to his friend.  “Except when he’s hungry,” corrects the buddy.  Then the footage cuts to Godzilla in full rampage, hundreds of feet tall and blasting cars airborne with his breath.  Fortunately, someone in the crowd knows the remedy for this situation, and lobs Godzilla a Snickers bar. – – He eats the morsel, gets a blissful expression on his massive face, and then suddenly…Party Godzilla is back, water skiing and blending happily into human society again!  

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry, we are told. Studies have shown that hunger and anger can be linked. Maybe then the answer to unrest in the Middle East and elsewhere is simply to bombard the combatants with Snickers bars…heck, diplomacy doesn’t seem to be doing much, so make chocolate, not war!

Godzilla Fiat Commercial…

June 3, 2014

Godzilla Fiat

“He’s back…and it looks like he’s craving Italian!” – –  Well, who could blame him, right?!

Movie tie-in commercials are usually terrible, but for this one, we’ll make an exception!  A city street is shown devastated, as if a war is going on…well, one is, but with the King of Monsters!  Godzilla, whose fortunes are on the rise with the new re-boot of his franchise, is clearly in control, buildings crumbling around him and hardly bothering with the pesky small-arms fire being directed against him ( foolish humans, when will they ever learn?).  Attacking a city does make a guy hungry, however, and the big guy is tossing small cars down his gullet.  Along then comes a bright yellow Fiat packed with people, and it too is thrown down Godzilla’s gargantuan hatch like a Cheeto…

…but wait!  Is it too much to swallow?!  The big guy vomits the Fiat back up, completely undamaged, and it hits the ground running flawlessly, spinning away. – –  Is it because Fiats taste terrible? – – No, it’s just because they’re surprisingly big, you see!  I guess that size does matter, after all…and next time, Godzilla, chew each bite before swallowing!

Godzilla Resurrection!

April 28, 2014



I have a confession to make; I’ve always loved Godzilla, ever since the days that he appeared in badly-dubbed Japanese movies and was obviously played by someone in a rubber suit!  Godzilla fans have endured a variety of outrages over the years, including a series of increasingly lame and outrageous adversaries (e.g., the “Smog Monster”), bad storylines, and even alteration of the character’s gender. The last major studio film treatment in 1998 portrayed Godzilla as an iguana-like creature, focused on a human love story, and was almost universally hated by fans.  It appeared that Godzilla might have fallen to bad treatment rather than an oxygen destroyer, but we who believe have maintained our faith.

The upcoming reboot of the Godzilla franchise by Gareth Edwards promises to take Godzilla back to his 1954 roots.  Co-produced by Legendary Pictures and Warner Bros. under license from Toho, the new movie will be live action while Godzilla will be computer-generated.  Unlike the 1998 film, Godzilla will again fight several monsters rather than just the military.  The opponent monsters, referred to as “mutos,” will fly and be multi-limbed.  Godzilla himself will stand 350′ tall, the biggest incarnation ever.

The plot should delight conspiracy theorists.  It seems that Godzilla’s existence has been covered up by the U.S. government (like aliens, ‘ya know), and nuclear tests of the 1950’s were actually attempts to kill the creature.  Godzilla’s face is supposedly modeled on elements of features of bears, dogs, and eagles.  The big guy’s fighting style is based on that of bears and komodo dragons.  His roar is the original one pioneered by Toho, with improvements and enhancements.

Godzilla is conceived as “a terrifying force of nature,” and his kung fu should be the best.  He’ll be stomping his way into theaters this May, hopefully a monster for our times…



Flying Humanoid, Jersey Devil, Batsquatch…

February 27, 2014


– – “Things that fly” might have been considered the unifying theme of a recent Monsters & Mysteries in America episode, one in which the segments again considered content previously aired on such shows as MonsterQuest, with Batsquatch essentially a rehash of a segment already done by Monsters & Mysteries itself.

Now Flying Humanoids have been reported dozens of times, both from across the United States and elsewhere. The occurrences reported on here, however, transpired in the Ozark Mountains of Missouri in Turkey Creek. Two bothers reported that in July of 1998, they had been looking for “a bit of adventure” when an unknown flying fiend was powerful enough to lift their vehicle slightly off the ground and shake it. The humanoid is reported to be tall and hairless, having red eyes and a great wingspan. Brothers Ed and Danny Overton reported that a humanoid flew at their car, causing it to go into a tree. Dan Overton returned to the Turkey Creek area in 2010, where he observed a freshly-dug cave, and heard the growl and sound of something large coming through the woods. Drag mark scrapes were seen, and tree limbs were broken and dropped around them. The humanoid was reportedly seen and pursued, but took off and subsequently disappeared.

The Jersey Devil is a classic cryptid native to the Pine Barrens of southern New Jersey with a back story going to 1735 when a Mother Leeds gave birth to an unwanted 13th child and cursed it, wishing for it to be a devil. Be careful what you wish for, as they say, for Mother Leeds reportedly birthed something with the head of a horse, red eyes, and the wings of a bat that grew to be about the size of a small elephant. Considerable hysteria over the creature was reported in 1909, and in more recent times times Paul Pedersen Jr. encountered the devil as a child in 1963 while babysitting his sister at home. Hearing something hopping up the cellar steps, young Pedersen and his sister ran to the front yard to await the return of their father, who found the basement trashed, and removed a coal chute through which it was figured something had gained access to the house. Even more recently in 2008 a woman and her boyfriend while in a car heard screeches and the flapping of wings. Something then hit the top of their car, which was dented as a result.

The last segment of the episode was a recap of the Batsquatch sightings in the Rio Grande Valley area in 1976, with attacks having been reported in Raymondsville and also Hidalgo County near Houston. Please reference the earlier Sheepsquatch, Batsquatch, and Sasquatch post for additional information if desired…

Sheepsquatch, Batsquatch, Sasquatch…

February 22, 2014

Batsquatch– – Monsters & Mysteries in America is again providing us with some new episodes, which happily gives us something to write about.  In one episode first aired in 2014, a bizarre hybrid beast called Sheepsquatch was profiled, described colorfully as being “a cross between mutton and man.”  This might be a great description for an offbeat underdog wrestler, but refers to a creature sighted in the Appalachian mountains of Kentucky.  One encounter detailed occurred in July of 2004 by friends Dakota Cheeks and Ricky Joyce, who while staying in a hunting cabin awoke to find their 150-pound dog with his neck broken.  They later stayed in a camper, and became aware of something pressing against it.  Therafter, they encountered a 9′ tall creature with long, taloned arms that emitted an “ungodly, gut-wrenching growl” at them.  The beast charged, and while they fired at it, the duo apparently failed to hit anything.  Retreating, the friends came back later and found drag marks, while it was uncertain whether the creature was wounded and dragged itself away, or had dragged prey away.– Quite the ambiguous, open-ended account, yes?

Then we have Batsquatch (not in any way associated with Batman), who haunts the Rio Grande Valley of Texas.  In January of 1976, ten different witnesses including police officers and fisherman reported seeing the creature within a two week time frame.  Batsquatch stands eight to ten feet tall, and has a bat-like wing span.  In January of 1976, brothers David and John Daut were traveling in a small car when the creature appeared on the road in front of them.  As it refused to yield and forced them to stop, they were in the process of backing up when the beast took three or four steps towards their car before flying over it, making loud flapping noises in the process.  Batsquatch has a head like a dog or wolf, and intense red eyes.  A second account presented the case of a man who stepped outdoors and was grabbed from above by Batsquatch; while he managed to beat the creature off, the back of the jacket that he was wearing bore rips as if from talons.  In Hidalgo County near Houston, a father and son team were hunting deer and in a tree stand when the father reported being snatched by an avian humanoid; the son shot at the offending beast, which released the father, who suffered broken ribs and related injuries.  It was speculated on the show that Batsquatch may be a surviving type of pterodactyl…very cool if so, and certainly the very stuff of which Syfy Channel movies are made!

Lastly and most familiar to us, the show presented a segment on Sasquatch of the American Pacific northwest.  In a rather current and fascinating encounter from 2010, hunter Justin Smeja and a friend while in the Sierra Mountains saw a Bigfoot standing about 6-1/2 to 7 feet tall.  They fired at the unfortunate beast, apparently hitting him.  The wounded creature staggered away, and was met by two juveniles, engaging in what the hunters described as “deaf chatter” with them.  The creatures then split up with the hunters in pursuit; Smeja reports encountering and shooting one of the poor juveniles thereafter.  As he watched the creature expire, Smeja was taken by its humanoid characteristics and stricken by remorse, as a result of which he and his friend buried the Sasquatch rather than retaining its body.  Reports of the incident caused Bigfoot hunter Derek Randles to encourage Smeja to find and return with the body.  This Smeja attempted to do, but could recover only a patch of hair with attached hide and flesh.  This tissue was taken to a lab, where analysis reportedly found the tissue to be that of a genetic relative of humans, with Bigfoot speculated to be the result of breeding between a male primate and a human female in the distant past…I’m glad I wasn’t a chaperon  on that date!

As for Derek Randles the Bigfoot hunter, he had his own encounter in August of 1985 when he and a hiking friend went off-trail in Washington state.  A large rock was thrown at the duo to be followed by a second, each cast intentionally and landing about ten feet away.  The hiking partners wisely exited stage left at that point, with Randles looking behind himself at one point, and spying Bigfoot.  It was Randles belief that Bigfoot did not intend to harm him but only scare him off, and that perhaps in going off-trail he and his companion had ventured too close to a family group of Bigfoot or their habitat.  Out of this encounter was born the Olympic Project, which seeks to obtain crystal-clear images of Bigfoot in a natural environment.  The automatic motion-sensor type cameras deployed in this project have so far managed to take mostly images of well-known wild animals, together with some partial images of body parts that just might be connected to a Bigfoot…or not!  

Again, I could die happy if we’d have conclusive, verifiable scientific proof of the existence of any of these cryptids or others in my lifetime.  An alien would be awfully nice, too… *sighs*