The Lactaid Cow in, “Annoying Milk”


Anthropomorphic cows  so seldom appear in commercials that I’m glad to see one make an appearance, especially when they are a bit crazed.  In a recent Lactaid commercial, we are treated to an all too brief appearance from the Lactaid Cow’s deviant sister, Lactose Cow.

Now the Lactaid Cow is a beautiful blue and white creature, and as sweet as pie; she’s lovely, and I have nothing against her.    Her “annoying milk” alter ego, as pictured above, is black and white and quite hyper, full of energy and questions that she fires off in rapid fashion at her human company.  These are questions such as, “Why do people have eyebrows?  And why do they put milk on their cereal?  Are you reading about why people put milk on their cereal right now? And why does your stomach go, ‘rumbly, rumbly, rumbly?’”  Unfortunately at that moment, this marvelous creature is lassoed and hauled off by the Lactaid Cow, who takes her place and won’t give the lactose-intolerant anything but serenity and dietary support; she won’t “mess with you.”  

Well and good, but where others see annoyance, I see opportunity.  This so-called annoying milk cow would fit in with Warner Bros. creations, and could make a wonderfully demented childrens’ show host, kind of like Pee-Wee Herman in cowhide.  She just needs the proper vehicle to propel her to stardom, and they don’t need to change a thing about her!  Heck, give her a sitcom, called something like “My Neighbor the Cow” or “The Cow that Came To Dinner”( wait, scratch that second one)!  Anyways, I’d pull up a chair to watch this bovine comedian.  I hope we haven’t seen the last of her, ’cause this cow’s no milk dud…the Lactaid Cow may have your back, but her twisted sister’s got my funnybone…

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Explore posts in the same categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television

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3 Comments on “The Lactaid Cow in, “Annoying Milk””

  1. carycomic Says:

    Considering just why Paul Rubens had to drop his more notorious stage-name, you might want to go for a different analogy.

    • vulpesffb Says:

      Dang, I barely got that post up before you commented…amazing! I’m loyal to Paul Rubens, and have enjoyed his Pee-Wee persona since the 1980’s. His character has appeared in a Broadway show, and I understand a new movie featuring him is coming out as well. Paul Rubens has even appeared on “Gotham” as the Penguin’s father!

      • carycomic Says:

        It’s only fitting, seeing as how he played Mr. Cobblepot, Senior, in a non-speaking cameo role for the prologue of BATMAN RETURNS (the first Bat-sequel to Michael Keaton’s debut as the Dark Knight).


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