The Great Fire Ape…

  

The Bigfoot Edition of Mountain Monsters on The Discovery Channel continued with the AIMS team minus recovering leader Trapper heading to Pendleton County, West Virginia is search of the Fire Ape, an 8-1/2 foot tall, 700 pound Bigfoot variant with reddish fur first spotted over 200 years ago by Native Americans.  This creature is drawn and enraged by fire, with mythology maintaining that humans originally stole fire from the beast.

The team first interviewed Jerry, a landowner and eyewitness who set off fireworks.  Following that, his dog took off after something, and the man spotted a reddish thing that was apparently the cause of the dog’s attention.  On their first night’s investigation, the team observed a mashed down “ambush spot” in the weeds, and heard something on the river bank which they pursued, resulting only in Buck falling into the creek.  

The reported events of the following day commenced with observations of Wild Bill’s self-training activities, which included running madly around cones.  “I don’t know if he’s training, or going insane,” commented another team member.  A catapult snare trap was then constructed by Willie and Wild Bill while the rest of the team returned in the daylight to the creek, seeing wild daisies move and hearing grunts.  They interviewed Mark, an outdoorsman who reported having lit a fire by his cabin, thereafter hearing a commotion and supposedly seeing the creature entranced by the flames in his fire ring.  He later found an 18″ footprint of which he had a picture.  Reuniting, the team then tested their trap using Archie, a burlap Bigfoot they had made.

On their final night’s hunt, the team then lit torches to draw the Fire Ape, and set up a fireworks station to further lure him.  They found crossed trees, a usual Bigfoot sign, and were knocking on trees to draw a response.  It was then that the episode’s producer appeared, all in a dither, to report that the sound man, Pablo, had vanished! Investigating, the team found the sound guy’s mic cover and sound boom, but where in the world was Pablo?  They decided to light up their fireworks to distract the Fire Ape, thereby allowing the presumed apprehended Pablo to escape.  Team members thought that they heard Pablo yelling in the distance, after which time they also felt they had heard the Bigfoot yell.  

Eventually Pablo came stumbling out of the woods, muddied and shook up.  His contention was that he had been blindsided and knocked down by the Bigfoot while following the group in the rear and wearing headphones that apparently muffled the sound of the creature’s approach.  Needless to say, the Fire Ape escaped without even a photographic image being recorded.  Pablo, apparently, was none the worse for the wear, but wished that he was back in South America…

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3 Comments on “The Great Fire Ape…”

  1. carycomic Says:

    The Native Americans allegedly stole fire from this thing’s ancestors? Holy Prometheus, Batman! But, as the alleged descendant they were chasing allegedly made off with Pablo, one might have to wonder if the popular nickname should be changed to …The Great Flaming Ape.

    Let’s see how many die-hard fans of Anita Bryant get the joke.

  2. vulpesffb Says:

    I didn’t think that Anita Bryant had any die-hard fans anymore. Here, have some fresh Florida orange juice…


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