Attack of the Killer Shrimp!

– – Some people have bucket lists of things that they want to do before they “kick the bucket,” that is, die…but I have a list of things to be worried about or afraid of, and I’ve just added something to that list…Run, ’cause there’s an invasion of Asian Tiger Shrimp!  I can see a Saturday night movie on the SciFy channel coming out of this, folks…

Now Asian Tiger Shrimp are not hideous mutants or skilled in the martial arts, although I could see them developed as potential adversaries for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They are, however,  jumbo shrimp, which as George Carlin pointed out was an oxymoron.  These are big suckers, measuring up to thirteen inches long and weighing up to a quarter pound, and they are cannibalistic…that’s right, shrimp that eat other shrimp.- -Isn’t that redundant?

Also known as tiger prawn, the black-and-white striped creatures are showing up in the Gulf of Mexico and Southeast coast, and are preying on smaller, native sea life as well as competing for resources and carrying  diseases…a triple threat, if you will.  Scientists don’t know exactly how the Asian variety got to the Gulf Coast, but marine ecologists are looking into the shrimp’s DNA for clues, with breeding in the local waters or conveyance by ocean currents possibilities.

And if Asian Tiger Shrimp team up with Asian Carp, we could have seafood that would eat you…or at least take your computers for their young!  I’m paying protection money while I still can…

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2 Comments on “Attack of the Killer Shrimp!”

  1. carycomic Says:

    Next thing you know, we’ll be having urban free-for-alls between Adolescent Radioactive Blackbelt Hamsters…and Adult Thermonuclear Samurai Elephants.*

    *I can never say that last part, out loud, with a straight face (lol)!


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