Fugitive Cow…

 – – I’ve always felt empathy for fugitive cows, those bovines that feel the bloodline of the aurochs stir in them, and so do not go quietly to the slaughter… 

…and so to Yvonne, the six-year-old German cow, I say, You go, girl!  No milk dud, Yvonne escaped in May from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany where she was being prepared for the slaughter.  She made a new home for herself in the Bavarian woods, gaining the notice of authorities when Yvonne jumped in front of German police cars.  Deemed a traffic threat, hunters were then authorized to shoot the cow, which outraged animal rights activists.  An Austrian animal protection group then either offered or has already bought Yvonne from her original farm for 700 euros. 

While receiving much attention, Yvonne remained on the lam, prompting efforts to lure her in by sending bovine family members and friends into the wild.  A bull was even brought in by animal rights activists in an effort to romance the cow, but the bull turned out to be castrated, and Yvonne wasn’t fooled by this flimsy deception.  Things got weirder still when an animal psychic was consulted by the animal rights activists.  The psychic reported having contacted the cow by telepathy, saying that Yvonne was fine but didn’t feel ready to come out of hiding, fearing that the humans would lock her up and that she’d lose her freedom!

Meanwhile, the Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot Yvonne, saying that the decision was ill-advised.  A German newspaper has also created a Facebook page, and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne…

…my sympathies are on the side of the cow on the run, who has probably connected with the underground and awaits the furry revolution…long life and good fortune to you, counter-culture bovine!- -Fight the power, Yvonne!

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3 Comments on “Fugitive Cow…”

  1. carycomic Says:

    So, let me get this straight. Yvonne thought she was getting a real stud. But, instead, all she wound up with a bum steer?

    That would make any woman MOOOOOOOOdy!


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