– -These Rats ROCK!!!

 – – Remember the giant talking ants in earlier Orkin commercials?- -Well, no rat finks these, the latest Orkin commercial features a duo of really rad anthropoid rats playing hot licks on guitars in the living room of a nice suburban home that the family of four in residence comes home to unexpectedly.–Alright, the rats are a bit on the scruffy side and they’ve made a little mess on the floor, but damn, these rodents ROCK!!!- -Think Stephen King meets Jimi Henrix!

The one rat looks positively evil when he chides the family for coming home early, but hey, did you want Justin Bieber?- -These rats have got what it takes, and they know how to use it!  They even offer the boy in the family a gig playing drums for them!- –Take it, you fools, don’t you know a gift when you see it?! – –I’ll play drums for them if the kid doesn’t want it, we’d RULE!!!  (I can see it now…Foxy and the Vermin, Live In Concert!)

When the rats are driven out by the Orkin man (imagines voice of Stewie from Family Guy, “Damn you, Orkin man!”), they even split in a totally cool rat rod!  Don’t drive these rats out, suburban white bread family!- – Sign them to a contract…FAST!!!- –These boys have a future! 


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Explore posts in the same categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television

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3 Comments on “– -These Rats ROCK!!!”

  1. carycomic Says:

    They remind me of a Sherlock Holmes pastiche by Fred Saberhagen, which was supposedly based on the “true story” behind the Case of the Giant Rat of Sumatra.

  2. carycomic Says:

    Although, personally, I think it more likely that the overgrown rodent in that book might actually have been a giant aye-aye! A Malagasy prosimian (presumably extinct) that looked just like its smaller, still extant modern cousin. Which, in turn, looks like the love-child of a rat and a monkey!

  3. vulpesffb Says:

    Stephen King’s short story “Graveyard Shift” is a wonderful tale featuring rats, although his mutant rats are not musically inclined…and it’s not for the squeamish! It appears in the collection “Night Shift.”


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