Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…

 – – Failure is not an option for those participating in Advance Auto Parts Speed Training, at least not if you value your backside!  Imagine sprinting briskly across the African plain while hoisting a muffler to your shoulder…no picnic that, but it gets worse when you’re wearing a meat suit of raw steaks around your waist, and being pursued by a pack of at least five lions very interested in a luncheon!  That ought to get the employees to beat feet!  The performance of the guy first depicted is apparently at least adequate; he lives to draw salary another day, and earns a “not bad” comment from his boss waiting to pick him up in a jeep.  We are not shown the fate of the girl who follows next, a garland of meat around her neck…hope she ran track and field!

In a related commercial, we are shown battery installations practiced while free-falling from a plane; it’s almost as brutal as the performance reviews I used to undergo.   One suspects that Advance has a really interesting retirement plan…


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4 Comments on “Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…”

  1. carycomic Says:

    I liked the one with city-slicker wolves better.*

    *I mean, really! African lions? Don’t we do enough out-sourcing with _people’s_ jobs? Now, we have to deprive American _animal_ actors of work, too?

    • vulpesffb Says:

      I’m still waiting for a re-make of “Bedtime for Bonzo,” myself!

      • carycomic Says:

        Ah, yes! I remember the original, quite well. Ronald Reagan’s role in that one won him the Oscar for Best _Supporting_ Actor.

        ;-D

  2. carycomic Says:

    P.S.—you know what’s even scarier than a pride of hungry lions? The off-chance that someone out there thinks I was dead-serious with the first comment…and agrees with me!


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