–Fear the Asian Carp!

– – The man is the picture loves fishing…I mean, really loves it!  I will not speculate about what a human-Asian carp hybrid would look like.  I’m afraid enough  of the Asian carp

These fish can exceed four feet in length, and 100 pounds in weight.  They can eat 40% of their body weight each day. And of course being Asian, they excel at math…

…just kidding about that last attribute, of course!   But these carp are crafty…they may have already penetrated an electronic barrier meant to keep them out of the Great Lakes, a barrier which cost nine million!

“We’re going to keep throwing everything we can at them to keep them out,” said the senior Great Lakes advisor to the EPA.   This reminds me of a Godzilla-vintage Japanese horror movie…

“We must stop Mega-carp!–We will throw everything that we have at it!” (footage shown of tanks shelling an enormous fish, all to no avail.)  “Quickly!–Deploy the Super-X!

…’scuse me, I lost my mind for a minute.–Anyhow, Asian carp escaped from southern fish farms into the Mississippi River during 1990’s flooding, and have been migrating northward since.  They decimate species prized by anglers and commercial fishers, and are known to leap from the water at the sound of passing motors and sometimes collide with boaters!   A worst-case scenario envisions them spreading “like a cancer cell.”

I dunno about you, but I’m sleeping with a light on, and an image of Mrs. Paul or maybe the Gordon fish guy in the room to protect me!

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4 Comments on “–Fear the Asian Carp!”

  1. carycomic Says:

    You should have seen the latest episode of “River Monsters.” It’s a British-made show starring a gent who’s like the Steve Irwin of angling. And, recently, he went searching for a giant man-eating fish in the upper Kali River region of India.

    Through a detective-like process of investigation, he determined that this man-eater might be a giant subspecies of Indian catfish previously unknown to science. And, from the size of the more common specimens he caught? If his scaled-up calculations are right, I think he was very sensible bringing SHARK-FISHING tackle with him!

    Btw; the native term for the Kali River cryptid is “soos.” But, the term for the smaller species of catfish he thinks it truly belongs to is “goonch.”

    *Spellings approximate*

  2. carycomic Says:

    Further research has revealed that the angling gentleman is named Jeremy Wade. And, that the common goonch is scientifically known as Bagarius yarelli.

    B. gigas (the giant goonch) is supposedly extinct. Emphasis on the adverb.


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