The Passion of Punxsutawney Phil

philThe Passion of Punxsutawney Phil
(A micro-story re:  Groundhog Day)

–Each February 2nd, thousands of people descend on Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, a small town of approximately 6,100 people located about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh to celebrate what had essentially been a German superstition.  The tradition is that if a hibernating animal sees a shadow on February 2nd (the Christian holiday of Candlemas), winter will last another six weeks.  If no shadow is seen, legend says spring will come early.

But understandably, Punxsutawney Phil had grown weary of being torn every year from his sound slumber in a warm burrow.  He accordingly decided that when the top-hat and tuxedo-wearing businessmen of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle came to carry out the tradition, they would  meet with a little surprise…

Punxsutawney Phil had a friend (a mole, literally and figuratively) who was sympathetic to the groundhog’s plight.  Burrowing through the highest and most secretive branches of government, the mole had accessed some papers which the government had seized from Nikola Tesla following the death of the brilliant but eccentric inventor, engineer, and physicist in 1943,  fearing that such information might prove dangerous should it fall into the hands of the Nazis.  Many years ahead of his time, Tesla had developed among other things alternating current, remote control, the induction motor, and plans for the wireless global transmission of electrical power.   Tesla helped shape and define the 20th century, but died with little money and largely unrecognized for his contributions.

The groundhog had considerable time to pour over the papers and theories of the controversial inventor, and found them intriguing; he was even able to develop working prototypes of several devices.  And so it was when Punxsutawney Phil was again rudely dragged from his burrow and deployed a particle beam weapon, his tormentors truly never knew what hit them…

(–Happy Groundhog Day!)

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One Comment on “The Passion of Punxsutawney Phil”

  1. carycomic Says:

    Maybe Phil could get pardoned by President Obama next February. I can just see it now.

    “Mr. Woodrow Charles is hereby pardoned…”


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