The Trump Rat…

Posted August 16, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted

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What’s orange, inflatable, fifteen feet tall, and full of hot air? – – Why, the Trump Rat, of course!  Now, Donald Trump has been depicted as a variety of anthropomorphic animals, including a rooster.  The Trump Rat, however, shows uncommon attention to detail.  In addition to the trademark hair, there’s also the pursed lips, the red tie, and in a whimsical touch, Confederate-flag cuff links!  

The Trump Rat was positioned a short distance from Trump Tower when The Donald retreated to New York, and has become a popular site for tourist selfies.  Its creator was supposedly inspired by a particularly revolting rat that he spotted in New York City some time ago. The windbag is supposedly poised to travel to other locations, at times shadowing Trump himself.  

I would hasten to add that normally rodent-human hybrids have a proud and respectable heritage, with Mickey Mouse, The Secret of NIMH rats, and Fivel of An American Tail but several examples that come to mind…

Original “Godzilla” Actor Dies…

Posted August 8, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, creature features, famous furries, furry, furry film classics, furry heroes, furry horror, sci fi

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He waded out of the Pacific Ocean in 1954, and into cinematic history.  He was one of the great ones, in every sense of the word.  And now it is with regret that I report that the original actor to play Godzilla has died of pneumonia at the age of 88…

Haruo Nakajima played Godzilla in twelve films, his last outing in 1972’s Godzilla vs. Gigan.  To prepare for the original role, Nakajima went to the Tokyo zoo to study the movements of elephants and bears, believing that Godzilla had to move convincingly to avoid being a farce.  The suit that he wore weighed up to 220 lbs. as it was crafted in part of ready-mixed concrete.  Stomping among miniaturized sets, Nakajima suffered for his art as wearing the suit caused him to sweat terribly.

Nakajima began his movie career in samurai and war movies before becoming a monster movie icon.  Not limited to one role, Nakajima also played Rodan, Mothra (my personal favorite), and King Kong! – – Thank you, Haruo, for bringing the King of the Monsters to life!  

Advantage II for Cats Huge Flea Commercial…

Posted July 25, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, bizarre, furry, insects, parasites, television, weird

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Fleas the size of humans are the stuff of nightmares, especially if you happen to find them watching a movie with you, or (shudder) squirreled away all cozy in your bed… 

The giant fleas in the Advantage II for Cats commercial are both repulsive and oddly fascinating; it’s hard to look at them or away from them, perhaps because they’ve acclimated to human life so well.  They seem like world-weary couch potatoes, not really trying to make a fuss but just fit in.  And so it is when the woman vacuuming approaches the giant flea encamped on her couch, the insect very accommodatingly lifts a hind leg to allow her work to continue.  The flea fits in all too well, and is possibly less offensive than other house guests.  

If your cat has fleas, you probably do also” is the commercial’s disturbing message.  Perhaps in a sequel, we’ll hear the pitter-patter of not-so-little flea legs around the house, or see the one on the couch pick up the phone to order a pizza…

“Irritabelle,” the Viberzi Woman…

Posted July 10, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, medical, strange, television

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I find people with their internal organs visible disquieting, unless of course they are zombies, in which case you expect that kind of thing, and it’s part of the desired effect.  When said people with visible internal organs jabber and cling, they can be downright annoying, however.  Zombies at least just growl and make noises while they’re trying to eat you.

Submitted for your approval is Irritabelle, the Viberzi commercial woman. Now Irritabelle wears a flesh-colored body suit that’s non-descript except for the imprint of her lower gastrointestinal tract.  Yes, I know, pretty soon all of the young and fashion-conscious will be wearing them.  Irritabelle hangs around her greater self at such places as the market, the office, the bedroom, the beach,  the store, and the doctor’s office, promising the woman she’s part of such sought-after things as abdominal pain and diarrhea, and almost gleefully dragging the woman she dogs off to the bathroom.  She’s a bit of a cut-up too, even wearing an improvised cape at the doctor’s office like a demented superhero…colon girl, perhaps.  Irritabelle and the Lactaide cow whose milk messes with you would probably get along famously.  A show starring the Cow and the Colon would probably beat most reality television.

At any rate, as the personification for Irritable Bowel Sydrome in a commercial for a remedial medication, Irritabelle seems to have plenty of get-up-and-go.  Never has a “gut leotard” looked this good!

 

Samsung’s “Do What You Can’t” Commercial

Posted June 26, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, avian, furry, furry commercials, television

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I can’t remember the last time that I saw a commercial featuring an ostrich, so this gem from Samsung is unusual. Blundering along the African plain and coming across a dwelling, an ostrich pecks up a few crumbs on an outdoors breakfast table, managing in the process to wind up wearing some virtual reality goggles also left lying there.  Our boy’s horizons are radically expanded through a flight simulation program running on the goggles, and so he is inspired to attempt the impossible for his species…flight.  With Elton John’s Rocket Man as the theme, the ostrich extends his wings, and is soon soaring like a mighty eagle!

Some viewers have called this commercial Samsung’s best ever, and it manages to be funny, touching, and inspirational all at the same time…

 

Cheating Death Stuntman…

Posted June 12, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, television

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We all know that it’s not a great idea to try and cheat death, since eventually he’s gonna win.  Even 60’s “Batman” Adam West couldn’t hold him off indefinitely, and death is pretty intimidating in his popular “Grim Reaper” incarnation, with black garb, skeletal hands, scythe, and all. This Grim Reaper can even exude a rather impressive black spectral cloud around himself for dramatic effect.

…but when you’re a stuntman, cheating death is what you do; if you want to save 15% or more on your car insurance, switching to Geico is what you do.  So this stuntman racing death cuts out of a race for a bite to eat, and then rides conveyances, rolling out of a cab in time to beat death to the finish line.  Death shrieks his displeasure, but has lost…at least for the moment.  Time, however, is on his side, and the race goes not always to the swift.  Until that time, the Reaper will always have a place at heavy metal concerts…

Dentists Where Not Expected…

Posted June 7, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, strange, television

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It’s said that the most terrifying thing that you could find on your doorstep after midnight is a clown, simply because they don’t belong there. Wouldn’t you find it equally creepy to be broken down on a desert road, and have a dentist approach to render aid, clad in a crisp professional white jacket? How about being lost on a wooded trail, and have a dentist appear to lead you to safety, again wearing his white clinical coat? How about being stuck in an elevator, to have a dentist appear prying the doors open?

These are the scenarios in three recent commercials for Aspen Dental, featuring dentists as the proverbial fish out of water, appearing unexpectedly in all kinds of atypical places to render help. Supposedly this is because Aspen is a different kind of dental clinic with different kinds of dentists. But for me, this is all strangely unnatural, someone terribly out of place who we aren’t happy to see even in their proper domain. Steven King could have dreamed these scenarios up for one of his horror stories.

“Open wide,” says the dentist as he pries apart the elevator doors. Conditioned from times in the dental chair, two of three elevator occupants gape their mouths open: how quickly we are trained!  In yet another commercial of the series, a dentist foils a bank robbery, only to have bank patrons throw their wallets at his feet as if he were in on the heist.  Come to think of it, I’ve surrendered more than a little of my money at dental offices, although voluntarily and under legal circumstances.

I’m more accustomed to see dentists portrayed as villains: the ex-Nazi dentist of Marathon Man, for example, or the sadistic dental practitioner of Little Shop of Horrors. If dentists continue to crop up portrayed as unlikely heroes, perhaps “Molar Man” will eventually join the Marvel or DC universes.  I shudder at the thought…