The Kat Lady Kit Kat Halloween Commercial…

Posted October 21, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry, furry commercials, humor, television

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People with multiple cats tend to be regarded as demented; “Crazy Cat Lady” is practically part of the language.  Well, cats can really come into their own on Halloween, as illustrated in this 2016 Kit Kat candy commercial.  The brief spot begins when a mother out with Trick-or-Treating kids asks them whose house they want to visit first.  “The Cat Lady!,” they gleefully shriek.

Next we are shown the woman in question, seated comfortably in her home.  The doorbell rings, and immediately one cat across from her unfurls an impressive set of bat-like wings.  Next an Egyptian-styled cat saunters regally across the room. “It’s go-time, Kitty-Cat!,” announces the woman as she grabs a bowl filled with Kit Kat treats.  

So have a break…have a Kit Kat bar!  Wouldn’t you like to have a winged cat?  And Halloween is a lifestyle for some of us, really…

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“The Closet” Progressive Insurance Commercial…

Posted October 13, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

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We all know that monsters prefer to reside either in the closet or under the beds in our bedrooms.  Tapping into this childhood fear, a boy summons his parents during the night, afraid that there are monsters in his bedroom.  The parents  dutifully appear, assuring their son that there are no such monsters, and that Progressive Insurance, not monsters, are keeping watch over them 24/7.  Dad then says goodnight and exits before the boy can ask other questions.

“Flo” then appears out of the boy’s closet where she’s been checking the wiring, clad as always in her spotless white uniform…now that’s scary!  Also appearing then from under the bed is a wonderful horned and hairy monster who in well-spoken and literate terms expresses concerns over the boy, wondering aloud if something wasn’t going on at school that was making his charge not quite himself…he’s just not engaging!  

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have your own private guardian monster?  Just the thing to turn loose on telemarketing agents and religious, fund-raising, or political solicitors who come unwanted to your door!  I want one for Xmas…and Happy Friday the 13th, buwahahaha!

Spring-Heeled Jack…

Posted October 11, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, paranormal, speculation, unexplained, urban legends

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With Spooktober  here on Destination America, it’s time to delve into the archives a bit and consider a fairly obscure but historically interesting cryptid who reportedly terrorized London in the Victorian era.  He was called Spring-Heeled Jack for his supposed ability to execute astonishing leaps, capable apparently of clearing a house in a single bound.  

Now numerous images of Jack exist, ranging from the hideous to the almost dashing figure shown here.  Most reports describe him as appearing demonic, with clawed hands and prominent red eyes.  Jack also had the described ability to spew blue flames at his victims.  He was prone to attacking women and making off with children, with surviving victims suffering claw injuries and psychological trauma.  His first attack is said to have occurred in 1837, kissing and clawing up a woman who drove him off with her screams.  Numerous attacks were said to have taken place in 1838.

Jack’s escapades became the topics of “Penny Dreadful” fiction, and parents used to keep difficult children in line by threats of his appearance.  The last recorded sighting of him dates back to 1904.  Some have speculated that Spring-Heeled Jack was one of the inspirations for Batman, as you might see suggested by the figure above.  And with his last public appearance occurring over 100 years ago, perhaps this Victorian boogeyman is due for a revival, Steampunk being “in” and all…

  

Charmin Bears “Ultra Soft” Commercial…

Posted September 29, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, furry, furry commercials, television

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As I have posted before, I worry about the Charmin Bears…seriously!  I think that we need to get the psychoanalysts in here, because their attraction to a product line transcends the normal and healthy, and borders on some kind of strange anal eroticism that is cringe-worthy, a place where I’d really prefer not to go.  

In their Ultra Soft commercial, the entire bear family is sitting around their living room with “bedroom eyes,” listening to romantic music while caressing the product…and there is some serious stroking going on here!  Some of the family is even rubbing the toilet paper on their face with ecstatic expressions while the strains of “Unchained Melody” swell. — Isn’t this a bit “over the top?”

Momma Bear would seem to think so, with the music finally screeching to a halt and the matriarch declaring, “OK now, this is starting to get a little weird!”  More than a little, I would say…one does not cuddle with toilet paper.  I love peanut butter, but I wouldn’t want to marry it…

Mr. Whipple, our troubled Trumpland nation turns its lonely eyes to you!  Only you can sort out and make right what’s gone wrong with toilet paper advertising!


Hotwire Commercial, “Time…”

Posted September 21, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

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 This is quite the Zen goat, serenely sitting on a couch in a Hotwire tv commercial and playing a sitar.  I haven’t heard a sitar played this well since Ravi Shankar, or perhaps Muriel in Courage the Cowardly Dog.   Since he’s anthropomorphic, the mountain goat’s name is “Carl,” and he’s in this surreal “No Pressure” environment to help demonstrate that time is a construct of human perception, an illusion like that we are shown of Martin Starr, our host, in an hourglass filling with red sand.  Since Hotwire can always get you a great rate, you’re under no pressure to book at a certain time.  So book, or don’t…the universe abides irregardless, dig?

And perhaps seated at the hooves of Carl, we could all be wafted away by his sitar music to partake of a little transcendental meditation…groovy, baby!  Anyone else up for a ’60’s revival?  Bring your Beatles and Jefferson Airplane albums, your Peter Max poster, and of course those psychedelic brownies…far out!

Seen This “Cheeky Monkey?”

Posted September 12, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, furry, strange, television

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Better known for voicing Shrek and creating Austin Powers, comedian Mike Myers creates another Brit Tommy Maitland in the ABC network revival of The Gong Show.  Shown here with a furry act, Myers/Maitland is the flamboyant host of the series, strutting on stage each episode wearing a matador’s hat to the punchy notes of a killer band.  

While non-existent, Tommy Maitland is reportedly a beloved 72-year-old British comedian with a long history of career successes.  A small British flag and a picture of a younger Queen Elizabeth adorn a table on the set.  Performing in deep makeup, Myers as Maitland presents and champions each act before sending them off for a “nice cup of tea” and another reward which varies.  The “presenter” frequently mimics or mocks each act with props and exaggerated expressions during their performance.

This inner joke within a spoof can be quite a hoot, or Snax the Rabbit as the case may be.  And by the way, the proper reply to the question of “Who’s a cheeky monkey?” is a resounding response of, “YOU ARE!”  

And in closing, we pose the questions:

…Isn’t Snax a great name for a rabbit?

…Aren’t we all Cheeky Monkeys, at least some of the time?  

 

Kia Soul Turbo Hamster…

Posted September 8, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials

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We haven’t seen the Kia Soul hamsters in a while, and this newest arrival…diapered, and fresh out of a hospital delivery ward…runs like a gazelle!  Pursued by hospital staff, the little dickens leads all on a merry chase down the corridors, never missing a step and maintaining a healthy lead.  Passing through a variety of hospital locales including a kitchen, the little speedster winds up on an elevator where he raises a finger to his nose to admonish an observing little girl not to inform on him. Finally grabbing a sheet to serve as a parachute, he vaults off the top floor of the hospital, descending to land in the back seat of a turbo Kia Soul passing on the street below.  

The baby hamster’s name, naturally, is Turbo…and set to the music of Motorhead’s 1980 song, Ace of Spades, the diminutive speedster proves that timing in life is everything…