Aspen Dental “Sarcophagus” Ad…

Posted February 8, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, television

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What’s creepier than a dentist appearing out of a huge golden sarcophagus in an ancient Egyptian artifacts museum?

Not a heck of a lot, really.  In a recent Aspen Dental commercial, it seems that a man and his wife are walking through an Egyptian museum puzzling over insurance coverage for dentistry when they approach an enormous gilded mummy case.  The lid slides open with fog rolling out, revealing an Aspen dentist, clad in his white clinical jacket.  The dude even has a dental chair in his body box, and explains how Aspen will work directly with insurance providers to make things easier.  The visiting male is somehow transported on to the dental chair…someone fetch the Egyptian Book of the Dead, quickly!

“If easy is wrong, I don’t want to be right!,” comments the dentist as both he and his unwitting patient descend into the sarcophagus.  The lid slides closed, leaving the hapless woman crying out to her husband.  We mentally process this surreal scene…is this what happens to you if you’ve led an evil life?  Ra moves in mysterious ways…

…perhaps Anubis was into dentistry, or maybe this is just one vision of hell, I dunno.  Perhaps this is how King Tut bought the farm, or maybe he died so young from gum disease.  Such things are beyond the comprehension of a simple woodlands creature like myself.  But speaking of hell, I go to the dentist next month…

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Spider-Goats!

Posted January 31, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, Brilliant but twisted, controversial, science, strange

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(PhysOrg.com) — Researchers from the University of Wyoming have developed a way to incorporate spiders’ silk-spinning genes into goats, allowing the researchers to harvest the silk protein from the goats’ milk for a variety of applications. For instance, due to its strength and elasticity, spider silk fiber could have several medical uses, such as for making artificial ligaments and tendons, for eye sutures, and for jaw repair. The silk could also have applications in bulletproof vests and improved car airbags.

Read more at: https://phys.org/news/2010-05-scientists-goats-spider-silk.html#jCp

I, for one, am both entertained and concerned with the prospect of Spider-Goats.  I mean, imagine entering one of your rooms and finding one of the buggers hanging on your wall or ceiling!  I doubt that the usual spritz of Raid spray would be enough to deter one of them.  It might, however, lead to the development of a new generation of pest controllers, Goat-Busters. — I’m claiming royalty rights on that film franchise now!  The theme song’s already playing in my head…you got goats, got yer freakin’ goats?

And we have other thorny issues to sort out, too, like cross-over problems.  Would Spider-Goat be a superhero or super villain?  Would a special issue of Spider-Man be called for featuring a knock-down, drag-out fight?  And who plays Spider-Goat in that film treatment?  Even if computer-generated, voice work is required…I’m available!

Now because the spider silk is found in the goats’ milk, could you acquire spider powers yourself if you drank it, assuming of course that you could get it down?-  – Would that be a baaad idea?  Would you then be a Spider-Goat-Person? The line is forming to the left, folks, but remember that with great power comes great responsibility…

…remember the Spider-Pig episode of The Simpsons?  We’ve all got plenty to think about now, and I think that 2018 is off to a roaring (or perhaps a bleating) start.  As Dr. Seuss might have expressed it, From there to here / From here to there / Hybrid animals are everywhere!  

At least I’ll better fit in now, someday, maybe…


Still Rockin’ the X-Files…

Posted January 13, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: mysteries, paranormal, speculation, television

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Hard to Kill” might have been a subtitle of the second installment of the new limited X-Files  season as Fox Mulder and Dana Scully eluded and thwarted deadly Soviet operatives when guided themselves by the artificial intelligence version of a deceased Lone Gunman who sought to be unplugged, Richard Langly (aka Ringo).

I like how the series has kept its paranormal core while expanding the two central characters into almost action-heroes.  I mean, when armed with only handguns against a legion of Soviets with automatic weapons who attacked them at home they killed two Soviets outright,  and not only eluded death  but despite being handcuffed together managed to escape!  These are two smart, savvy, and tough FBI agents who could probably be featured on recruitment posters for the agency.  The episode expanded upon real-life events, too, with the enigmatic Skinner referencing how the current administration in Washington didn’t like the FBI much, and had even been infiltrated by Soviets.  

Now deep in the bowels of a compromised FBI resided a supercomputer into which had been uploaded the virtual essences of Langly and hundreds of other people whose survival was deemed desirable for the dark times to come.  A computerized existence was abnormal and apparently hellish, however, for Langly who wanted the program ended and his virtual existence expunged.  Mulder and Scully now as renegade agents were ultimately able to penetrate the forbidden FBI complex, with Mulder going mano-a-mano against a younger agent (and besting him) while Scully zaps the computer.  Plot twist, however; the bad guys made a backup system, so we may be hearing from the virtual Lone Gunman again.  I’d like that…

The notion of uploading an individual’s life experiences and general personality attributes to a computer program to simulate that person in life is within the fringes of a possible future reality, and may someday provide a kind of worldly immortality while allowing relatives to interact with a version of a departed loved one without requiring the downside of a zombie…I want to believe! — And hooray for the FBI and two of its coolest agents!

The X-Files, Season 11…

Posted January 4, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, paranormal, television

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I’m glad that there’s a Season 11 of The X-Files, even if it’s only comprised of ten episodes.  The season premiere that aired on Fox network January 3rd was heavy on the series mythology, bringing together many of the core iconic characters of the series and its on-going themes of deep-level government conspiracies and alien involvement. The quest in search of Mulder and Scully’s son William will be a strong underlying thread this season, and we learn that his parentage “by way of science” includes DNA from the nefarious Cigarette-Smoking Man, perhaps with some otherworldly genes also thrown in. 

Poor Dana Scully spends a lot of time in the hospital this episode, getting banged up in car wrecks, troubled by disturbing visions, and almost being smothered with a pillow by a baddie; it sucks to be her.  Fox Mulder was in heroic investigative and defensive mode, really putting a Ford Mustang through its paces and dispatching Scully’s assailant at the last minute with a scalpel; the guy’s got skills!  There’s even a shouting match with shoving between Mulder and Skinner, who may be in collusion with the CSM.  In the rambling undercurrent of the series, it would appear that the Cigarette-Smoking Man is actually trying to exterminate humanity with some kind of alien pathogen, which is probably why flu shots are no more than 10% effective this season…  

There was a lot of action and plenty of tantalizing unanswered questions in the episode, and I’d ride shotgun in Fox Mulder’s Mustang anytime…

Revolutionary Soldier and Creature in the Woods…

Posted December 24, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, paranormal, television

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How would you like to live right by a cemetery?  The neighborhood has been a bit dead lately, you say?!  Well, on the Season 1/Episode 7 installment of Terror in the Woods,  we are first told the ghostly story of Annie in Ohio, who when visited by her two sisters (Amy and Mary-Beth) at her Ohio house decided that it would be spooky fun to go on an after-dark graveyard walk in the adjoining cemetery.  This they did, complete with loud joking conversation and picture-taking. It was all fun and games until the night seemed to darken, and a presence was felt.  The sisters retreated to Annie’s house, where one felt a hand touch her when retrieving something from the car.  Returning to the cemetery the next day in broad daylight, they found graves of people sharing their names.  Looking later at the pics they had taken the previous night, a blurry but full-body image of a revolutionary war soldier was seen.  It seems that the cemetery was the final resting place of folks born in the area in the late 1600’s and early 1700’s.  Annie swore that she later momentarily saw a revolutionary war soldier in the cemetery from her window, and she would never again return to the graveyard.  

The second segment, Creature in the Woods, involved a couple in Nebraska (David and Laura) and their two children who went on a deep woods retreat to a cabin constructed by one of the lady’s relatives.  The woman had been going to the woods in general and that cabin in particular since childhood, and was not a nervous Nellie.  While fetching water, the family heard a deep grunting in the forest together with stamping on the ground which sounded aggressive.  They later heard resonant growls and thumps while preparing lunch.  Banging on wash tubs and an oil drum near the entrance to the camp was also heard, at which point the family decided to pack it in and fled in their car, afraid.  While no sightings were made, the inference was clearly made that they had encountered one or more Bigfoot-type creatures…

“Haunted Cabin” on”Terror in the Woods

Posted December 11, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal problems, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, furry, mysteries, paranormal, strange happenings, television, unexplained

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The Haunted Cabin episode of “Terror in the Woods” (S1/Ep8) was basically a ghost story, but with a side order of cryptid thrown in.  The story was pleasantly scary and creepy, and I like that!

In deepest Kentucky in the Red River Gorge, a rustic cabin sat in the woods on an abandoned logging road that married couple Bill and Charisse chose as kind of a retirement retreat.  Bill held the fort while Charisse worked hard for the money at a city job about two hours away.  Now Bill was a college grad, not some yahoo, and he put up a security camera outside the cabin.  One night around two to three a.m., said camera picked up a sporadic green mist that seemed to morph in and out.  We, the viewers, were shown the actual footage, and it did look like a floaty mist to me! Alerted by the security camera, Bill went outside and thought that he saw a ghost…

…other creepy things then transpired.  Bill’s TV and Playstation came on twice by themselves!  Now Bill was suitably creeped out by this. I mean, would you want ghosts messin’ with your PlayStation?! They’d stay on it for hours, and leave slime all over the console and controllers, for cripes sake! Bill then did what any sensible person would do, and spent the night in his car.

A week later, Bill’s trusty security camera showed a ball of white light that seemed to come out of the ground and which floated along the area; ghost alert! Viewers were also shown this footage. Bill trucked into town, speaking to and showing locals the footage; not surprisingly, they thought it ghostly.

Now comes the Bigfoot alert; walking outside his cabin in the woods, Bill hit a tree with a branch, and thought that it was answered with other knocks. Bill experienced fear and panic, since ghosts and Bigfoot make for a full paranormal schedule. A friend later visited him, and they found strange footprints with four digits and hooked claws; pictures were taken of this, which viewers of the episode were again shown.

His wife later returned to join Bill, and things went smoothly for a time until they heard howling and barking of a guttural, hellhound nature. They tried to record the commotion, but the sound stopped. Later when watching a ghost show on television, the two decided it would be a kick to casually try and summon a spirit themselves. Be careful what you ask for, because a loud knocking then came to their door, although nothing was there when the door was answered!

So our protagonist again went to the nearest town, showing the locals and woodsmen his latest videos and pics of the strange footprint.  Not surprisingly, they couldn’t explain them but agreed that they were freaky.  It was learned, however, that the cabin Bill and Charisse had bought was built for an ailing daughter who died in the cabin.  The cabin has since continued to be plagued by paranormal activity…spooky!  

“The Shape of Water” is Extraordinary!

Posted December 7, 2017 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, aquatic, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, furry perspectives, movies

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It’s being called everything from a sympathetic re-telling of “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” to an origins story for the Abe Sapien character from Hellboy, but by most accounts The Shape of Water is one of the best films that Guillermo del Toro has produced.  

Set circa 1962 during the depths of the Cold War, the fantasy drama concerns the unlikely relationship between a mute female custodian, Elisa,  and an intelligent amphibious humanoid creature torn from South America and kept in a secret government laboratory in Baltimore.  It’s readily believable for any dabbler in government conspiracy theories.  Called “the Asset” by his captors, the being faces exploitation and eventual “harvesting” in order that his biology might be further studied and applied to the space program.  As their relationship deepens, the humble cleaning lady resolves to take action to save a unique individual from captivity and worse…and “the Asset” has additional capabilities of his own…

The film works on many levels, and is rightfully up for numerous awards.  Seeing it might be the best Xmas present that you could give yourself!